One thing was to conquer, and a different thing was to keep their new possession. After the passing of Joshua, the Hebrew people were leaderless. Every tribe had a chieftain, but none of them were charismatic enough to become the head of the whole congregation. Judah and Simeon made an alliance to face the Canaanites. Needless to say that Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) was in the coalition.  He talked to Judah:


1:4 And Judah went up; and the LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and they slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men.

1:5 And they found Adonibezek in Bezek: and they fought against him, and they slew the Canaanites and the Perizzites.

1:6 But Adonibezek fled; and they pursued after him, and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and his great toes.

1:7 And Adonibezek said, Threescore and ten kings, having their thumbs and their great toes cut off, gathered their meat under my table: as I have done, so God hath requited me. And they brought him to Jerusalem, and there he died.

       The war continued in the land. The children of Israel were still on their mission, annihilating the occupants of the land they thought was theirs. They were defeating everyone with Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah), but then something really strange happened:


1:18 Also Judah took Gaza with the coast thereof, and Askelon with the coast thereof, and Ekron with the coast thereof.

1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

       Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) was, for the first time, powerless! He was not invincible after all. God and Judah could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley because they had chariots of iron! I remember god ordering Joshua to kill the army that was as numerous as the sand in the shore of the sea and burn all the chariots. Why could he not destroy these ones? Could he only destroy chariots made out of wood, because they were easy to burn? Why did he not make some huge rocks fall from the sky, as he had done before, and smash them? Why did he not ask the priests to blow the horns, and the soldiers to shout to disintegrate them? Chariots, after all, are weaker that walls. I will tell you why Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) did not do any of the latter. He did not do it, because he could not. Never had and never did. 

       It was easy for the Levites to write about the victories of their leaders. They simply added some passages where they made their god do something to help in the victory; things like rocks falling from the sky, etc., just to praise their god. With that, they made the new generations believe in the power of Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah). 

In defeat, things were harder to justify. How could they have explained Judah and Jealous’ (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) loss without their favorite excuse? If you have noticed, the only defeats the enemy has inflicted the children of Israel up to this point had been because they have disobeyed his commands. “He delivered them to their enemies’ hands,” as they always say. That is the excuse. But Judah had not done anything wrong this time. They simply had to accept the truth. Judah and god could not drive them out because the enemy had chariots of iron. That made them too powerful for them.

       After that loss, no chieftain succeeded in driving the enemies out, so they had to co-inhabit with them. Here are the quotes.


1:27 Neither did Manasseh drive out the inhabitants of Bethshean and her towns, nor Taanach and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Dor and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Ibleam and her towns, nor the inhabitants of Megiddo and her towns: but the Canaanites would dwell in that land.

1:29 Neither did Ephraim drive out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer; but the Canaanites dwelt in Gezer among them.

1:30 Neither did Zebulun drive out the inhabitants of Kitron, nor the inhabitants of Nahalol; but the Canaanites dwelt among them, and became tributaries.

1:31 Neither did Asher drive out the inhabitants of Accho, nor the inhabitants of Zidon, nor of Ahlab, nor of Achzib, nor of Helbah, nor of Aphik, nor of Rehob:

1:32 But the Asherites dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land: for they did not drive them out.

1:33 Neither did Naphtali drive out the inhabitants of Bethshemesh, nor the inhabitants of Bethanath; but he dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land: nevertheless the inhabitants of Bethshemesh and of Bethanath became tributaries unto them.

1:34 And the Amorites forced the children of Dan into the mountain: for they would not suffer them to come down to the valley:

1:35 But the Amorites would dwell in mount Heres in Aijalon, and in Shaalbim: yet the hand of the house of Joseph prevailed, so that they became tributaries.

       On this hand, I am happy that the killing frenzy stopped, because the Canaanites and all the other dwellers in the land were not to blame for being there. On the other hand, I cannot help but notice that Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) have not talked to any of the chieftains. It is he the sanguinary! When he is not there, telling them, “Kill them, kill them;” they let them live. They are content with the tributes they receive from them. They do not want their blood; they want their money.

       Either that, or the truth; they could not annihilate them or even drive them out because they were not united anymore. They did not fight like before, like one army, because now they had cities to protect, and those cities were scattered around the land. They could not be raiding the towns, because they would have to leave their families unprotected.

       The old inhabitants, on the other hand, were not strong enough to face them, either, so they had to submit and try to leave in peace.


       I still do not understand why the Levites made their god look so bloodthirsty. Let us read the following passage:


2:1 And an angel of the LORD came up from Gilgal to Bochim, and said, I made you to go up out of Egypt, and have brought you unto the land which I sware unto your fathers; and I said, I will never break my covenant with you.

2:2 And ye shall make no league with the inhabitants of this land; ye shall throw down their altars: but ye have not obeyed my voice: why have ye done this?

2:3 Wherefore I also said, I will not drive them out from before you; but they shall be as thorns in your sides, and their gods shall be a snare unto you.

2:4 And it came to pass, when the angel of the LORD spake these words unto all the children of Israel, that the people lifted up their voice, and wept.

       Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) was really mad at his children. He did not like the Canaanites and the other enemy tribes dwelling among them. He wanted to terminate them, as he had instructed Joshua. He knew that by annihilating them, their gods would disappear, too; those gods he despised so much were his rivals. He was aware of the fact that his children would have to mix if there were others around them. If they accepted their women, they would eventually accept their gods, too. That he could not tolerate. He was a jealous god, remember? He had to destroy all those gods co-existing with him.

       The always clever Levites sought the way to save their god’s reputation from the fact that the children of Israel could not drive out his enemies. They disguised this failures as punishment from their god to his children for disobeying his command of killing everyone in the “promised land” and destroying their gods. They did not noticed the fact that Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) was with Judah when they could not defeat the people in the valley because they had chariots of iron. Now they said that their god had left them as thorns in their sides.  By doing this, the Levites were justifying the losses, but in the process, they were portraying their god like a blood thirsty vampire.Soon after Joshua’s death, the Hebrew people did what Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh) so much feared:


2:11 And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and served Baalim:

2:12 And they forsook the LORD God of their fathers, which brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods, of the gods of the people that were round about them, and bowed themselves unto them, and provoked the LORD to anger.

2:13 And they forsook the LORD, and served Baal and Ashtaroth.

2:14 And the anger of the LORD was hot against Israel, and he delivered them into the hands of spoilers that spoiled them, and he sold them into the hands of their enemies round about, so that they could not any longer stand before their enemies.

2:15 Whithersoever they went out, the hand of the LORD was against them for evil, as the LORD had said, and as the LORD had sworn unto them: and they were greatly distressed.

       Do you see what I see here? Doing evil in the sight of the lord is not killing, lying, etc. Doing evil is worshiping other gods. That is the worst thing a person can do. God kills his own children just to prevent them from having other gods. This is the loving, caring, and forgiving god the people nowadays go to pray to in churches and temples.

By the way, that makes me wonder something else. Has Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) lost his powers lately? Or has he become more “humane”? Nowadays, there are thousands of people who are shifting to other gods: Allah, Buddha, etc. and nothing happens to them. Are those gods more powerful than Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah), so they can prevent him from harming them? Or does he only care for the Hebrews?

       Returning to our analysis, there is something that keeps bothering me. How come the children of Israel quickly and easily abandoned Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah)? Had they not seen walls falling just by blowing horns and shouting? Had they not seen rocks falling from the sky to smash their enemies? Had he not just delivered all their enemies to their hands? Had he not given them the land he had promised to them? Had they not just told Joshua that they would never forget their god? And still they switch! Did they not fear him? They had been punished before for disobeying him, and yet there they were, challenging him again!

       I do not think that there is one person nowadays that, after seeing any of those wonders, will shift to a different creed. As a matter of fact, no Catholic or Christian in the world has seen anything like it, and still they do not switch!  Could it be that Baal and Ashtoreth were doing even better feats? What could those feats be? Were they making figs, grapes, olives and dates, grow in a day? Were they heating ovens with no wood? Were they making calves grow into bulls overnight? Were they making fabrics without looms? Only those “miracles” would make me switch.

       There is only one reasonable explanation to that behavior. The children of Israel never witnessed any of the alleged miracles. In fact, they did not think they had received any divine help to get what it was theirs now. Everything they had, it was the outcome of their hard work.

       Let us continue with the official point of view:


3:7 And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and forgat the LORD their God, and served Baalim and the groves.

3:8 Therefore the anger of the LORD was hot against Israel, and he sold them into the hand of Chushanrishathaim king of Mesopotamia: and the children of Israel served Chushanrishathaim eight years.

       We now know what evil is to Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah), so I will not discuss it any further. I will point out; however, the consequence of his anger. He sold the children of Israel, i.e. his own children, as slaves! I know he did not literally sell them. What the Levites writing the bible meant is he did not do any of his wonders to prevent the Mesopotamians from defeating them. Is there a father in the world who would let his children be captive when he is powerful enough to prevent it? Is this a loving and forgiving god? He is vengeful at best. Let us keep reading:


3:9 And when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, the LORD raised up a deliverer to the children of Israel, who delivered them, even Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother.

3:10 And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he judged Israel, and went out to war: and the LORD delivered Chushanrishathaim king of Mesopotamia into his hand; and his hand prevailed against Chushanrishathaim.

3:11 And the land had rest forty years. And Othniel the son of Kenaz died.

       Eight long years the Hebrew people were serving the Mesopotamians. Eight years of suffering and crying to their lord for forgiveness.  Finally, Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) softened his own heart, assuming he has one, and sent a deliverer, Othniel, to free his children.

       I cannot help but wonder, if Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) is so powerful: can talk to multitudes (Mount Sinai), and can make rocks fall from the sky to smash his enemies, why does he always need a deliverer? Would it not have been more effective if he had talked to the Mesopotamians from a cloud, as he did in Mount Sinai, telling them, “Set my people free or I will make a rain of rocks to kill you?”  By doing that, he would have not only proved his children he was with them, but he would have also gained recognition from other people, in this case the Mesopotamians.

       We know by now that Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah) cannot do any of the sort. The Levites writing the bible had to wait for a strong leader to emerge; organize the people, and defeat the Mesopotamians to write that their lord sent him. They were just adding the miracles to the regular history.

       Othniel ruled for forty years and the incredible happened again:


3:12 And the children of Israel did evil again in the sightof the LORD: and the LORD strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel, because they had done evil in the sight of the LORD.

3:13 And he gathered unto him the children of Ammon and Amalek, and went and smote Israel, and possessed the city of palm trees.

3:14 So the children of Israel served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years.

       Do the children of Israel never learn? Do they not know by now how vengeful their god is? Is he not powerful enough to grant them all wishes?  Do they not know that every time they worship other gods he gets mad and punish them? But guess what? After those 18 years of servitude, Jealous (A.K.A. Yahweh or Jehovah)


3:15 But when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, the LORD raised them up a deliverer, Ehud the son of Gera, a Benjamite, a man lefthanded: and by him the children of Israel sent a present unto Eglon the king of Moab.

3:21 And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:

3:22 And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.

3:27 And it came to pass, when he was come, that he blew atrumpet in the mountain of Ephraim, and the children of Israel went down with him from the mount, and he before them.

3:28 And he said unto them, Follow after me: for the LORD hath delivered your enemies the Moabites into your hand. And they went down after him, and took the fords of Jordan toward Moab, and suffered not a man to pass over.

3:29 And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty, and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man.

3:30 So Moab was subdued that day under the hand of Israel. And the land had rest fourscore years.

       You’ve got it! He sent a deliverer. This time it was Ehud. He ruled in peace for 80 years, but when he died, can you guess what the children of Israel did?  If you said, “Did evil in the sight of the lord.” You’ve got it. Let us read the following passages:


4:1 And the children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the LORD, when Ehud was dead.

4:2 And the LORD sold them into the hand of Jabin king of Canaan, that reigned in Hazor; the captain of whose host was Sisera, which dwelt in Harosheth of the Gentiles.

4:3 And the children of Israel cried unto the LORD: for he had nine hundred chariots of iron; and twenty years he mightily oppressed the children of Israel.

       And the same story repeats over and over again. Either the children of Israel are all knuckleheads or the Levites writing the bible are not telling the entire truth. I incline for the latter.

       The Levites could not say that their enemies sometimes grew stronger and were able to subdue the children of Israel, because the young ones could have asked, “What about our lord? Isn’t he more powerful than any king on earth? We know about the plagues in Egypt, the Red Sea, and the rocks falling from the sky, why didn’t he do any of those things to our enemies here?” Then the seers would have had no other choice but to tell the truth about their god.

       There was no turning point. They have to keep making things up to save their god’s reputation; they had to put the blame on the children of Israel. That simple maneuver helped them kill two birds with one stone. On this hand, the new generations learnt of the consequences of disobeying Jealous (A. K. A. Yahweh or Jehovah) and kept them in control; and on the other hand, their lord’s deeds were not doubted.

       The problem was that in the process, the Levites made the children of Israel look, stubborn, obstinate, and stupid. They were not any of these things. They were hard working people who, as any nation at that time, won some battles and lost some others. But due to all the fantastic stories the writers of the bible had created since their departure from Egypt, they had to take the blame. It could not be otherwise. If the Levites writing the bible had accepted their losses as something natural; something that happened to every people on earth, they would not have been the chosen people anymore, even worse; their god would become an ordinary god, and they would have lost all their privileges.

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